It's been a long time since I've blogged. I still plan to tell my story and hopefully by my elder daughter's next birthday, I will have shared more. Yesterday was a day of tragedy. I can't even begin to share my thoughts and feelings about what happened other than to say that my heart hurts for those children who were killed and to those adults who perished trying to protect the little ones.
Since yesterday I've been thinking a lot about my first daughter. These shootings just hit home and make me think how short this precious gift of life is. Yesterday was also my daughter Allison's 17th birthday. Just the other day she said that she's always wanted a sister. Whenever she says that, my heart breaks just a little because, of course, she has a sister. Somewhere out there in this huge, beautiful world is a young lady with a family who wants to know her.
All three of my kids want to find her. They have such giving hearts and want to find her because she is their sister, but I think they also understand how vital is for me to know her. To know she's okay, to know she's been loved and cared for and that she has a wonderful life.
Searching for those lost through adoption is a scary prospect. Everyone has an opinion. Many think searching is wrong. What I would want to say to her today if she were reading this is that I do not want to change her family dynamics. I do not want to belittle what her parents are to her. I just want her to know that she is loved beyond measure by her first mom and by her siblings. I think there is enough love for everyone. Love does not divide, it multiplies.
So as everyone is talking about hugging their children after this horrific tragedy, I will hug mine and send out a silent thought and hug to my firstborn and hope that she knows how much she is loved.
Much love and peace to all!
Lori
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